To Love or To Be Vunerable?

"I feel like every time I love someone I give them a part of myself and when things end, I hobble around for a while, missing limbs or an eye, a victim in the the long war we call love."

 -Anais Escobar

I believe underneath all the eyelashes, liquid eyeliner, and debris that is life, we all want the same thing in the end.  TO love and Be loved.

Maybe the weather lately has been telling me the season will soon be changing and when it's cold and wintery, you want that warmth of the person you love.

I came across this saying from C.S. Lewis:

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keepign it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully  round with hobgies and little luxuuries; avoid all entanglements.  Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.  It will nto be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  To love is to be vunerable." - C.S. Lewis

I can see where this was going and meant to be.  But for MYself....nah, I'll just be vunerable.  It's sometimes hard because letting your guard down, tearing down your walls or unlocking the gated fence is scary.  Is the person you are to let in, really who they are? 

"Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are"  - Nicolo Machiavelli

I've lived some and truly loved few (in regards to giving my heart to a man/men). 

I would joke that I have a little black heart but in some ways tis' true.  I mean, it's not so much in use.  wait now im sounding like a scorned bitter person who doesn't know love.  That's not true, I get tears in my eyes (yes and they do actually fall sometimes) when it comes to events with family and such.  But trusting someone with something so special...is like a tug-of-war at times.  It's sometimes a matter of, will this hurt as much as I know it will or do i forsee an expiration date that I'm not telling 'him' about.  ('him' currently refers to no one in particular at this time but more so on past ....i'll post on this later).

In any case, I'd rather be open and vunerable than to not enjoy the feelings of like or love.

Im open to the possibilities.  It's a risk. 

There's fear but then again:

"Fear is a sneaky thief, stealing away precious moments of your life."
- Elizabeth Lesser

I'll do my best to no longer be robbed of the precious moments of my life.